What did the camera in the bucket see?
Madam charcoala takin a wee.

You can use it.
The barbeques are in aisle two.

There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept what was left of his brain in a bucket.
He liked to eat scrapple and would slice it up
with a scapple.
One day he mistook his brain for an apple
and sliced it up with his scapple.
Now he's selling what's left in a raffle.

The chain on the plane keeps it mainly on the terrain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Mel Gibson.

Click your heels together 3 times and repeat after me,
Stupid and happy
Stupid and happy
Stupid and happy

We ran out of money in 1791,
I'm not worried about it.

Do you know how those girls go that didn't make it back stage?

You're at a dance place and you genuinely ask her boy friend
if he knows anyone who is looking for a room to rent.
They leave and she comes back in 20 minutes alone.
You take her home and never get married.

By the way, I met your wife today Tim.

Don't worry they're not all like that.
Some women have no interest in sex,
they just fake it for money.
They even lie on the survey.
By the way, I turned her down Tim.

If you built a transporter that moved all the information
that is you to another location,
would it be you?
No, it has all ready been done and they call them twins.

Did Hitler practice tough love?

What would you rather have?
BS spewing from your TV or a tomato.

Love,
Sometimes it hurts and
sometimes it hurts and lasts.

Can a human being survive with out being stupid?
No.

I am running dangerously low on stupid. 

Stupidity is stored in two refrigerator units.
Don't use to much stupidity at any one time
or you could run out.
You need to keep a large supply at all times
because your survival depends on stupidity.