Today I made a sculpture of the person that parked in my spot.
I was surprised how accurate it came out.

Then I flushed it down the toilet. 

I can't knock you for expanding your house,
that creates jobs.

The U.S. economy doesn't seem to be doing as well now
as it was at the beginning of this year.
What changed?
Lets see,
gas went up and there was a change of players in the government.
The change of players was supposed to make things better wasn't it?

"Very Funny" raises our expectations to an unobtainable level.
You might just say "Tonight At Eleven" instead.

I would like the rooty tooty manual salt and sugar fruity lollipop pancake egg bacon sausage breakfast please,
or the RTMSSFLPEBSB direct which doesn't sound as good.

"Play it again Sam." 

Don't use up all the happiness at once it's better to try
to spread it out.

How fast, how fast, how fast, how past

I read the book "Relativity for the Million" when I was in high school.
What you didn't know was that the million was dollars.
http://www.amazon.com/Relativity-Million-Popular-Science-Library/dp/0025425404

If you kick the bucket after the fall time change and before the
spring time change you get a free hour from the cosmos.

Savage you were right.
"When the keys hit the floor"

The power nap.
Lay on the bed with your car keys in your hand
and your hand over the side of the bed.
"When the keys hit the floor"
You will be awake and ready to go again.

We will now build a picture frame.
The thickness of the frame is 1 inch.
The width of the top, bottom and side parts will be 3 inches.
The height of the finished frame will be 30 inches.
The width of the finished frame will be 4 inches.
Mathematically this frame is impossible to build.
The smallest width we can obtain with our parts is 6 inches.
We could still build the frame and cut one inch off each side.
Then we could put a 24 inch tall picture in it,if
we use a router to open a hole in the frame for the picture.

In our next lesson we will travel at a speed of 200,000 miles per second.

We are in a car we see a light wave going in the opposite direction,
We measure our closing speed with the light wave at 186,000 miles per second.
We know we are moving and assume that the light wave is standing still.
This tells us that we are traveling at a speed of 186,000 miles per second.
If we accelerate for a while we will be going 200,000 miles per second.

Here is my experiment I will put a light detector at the front of a long train
and a light detector at the back of the long train.
I will run the train 30 miles per hour and my friend will send a flash of light
at the train from a mountain up ahead. I will measure the time difference
between the front detector and rear detector detecting the light flash.
If special relativity is correct the time it takes for the light to
go from the front detector to the rear detector will always be the same
no matter what speed I run the train.

Due to heat, humidity, barometric pressure and grade changes
the length of the train would fluctuate rendering the experiment
worthless, but it is a nice thought experiment.